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Here is how emotions can help you succeed!

Written by Francois.

Do you ever get stuck in certain emotions? Perhaps this happens more often than you’d like? Many of my first-time clients have been struggling with just that, and in a sincere and courageous attempt to address their emotions more consciously, they have gone on a quest to embrace their emotions instead of fighting them. Some of them have been exploring their emotions for decades! They express their emotions through art, dance, in the way they communicate, and so on. Yet when they come to me, they often express frustration or confusion due to the fact that they still feel stuck in emotions such as sadness, doubt, anger, resentment, jealousy, grief, shame, and guilt, despite all their efforts. They want to know why it is that the peace they have been seeking hasn’t yet arrived.

Questioning Woman

In this newsletter, I will attempt to communicate what I’ve learned about the role emotions play in our spiritual evolution. In my years as a coach and facilitator of conscious growth, many of my clients have asked me: “What about the role of our emotions? What about feelings? What about simply being human?” My views on this matter have been formed by my experiences facilitating both transformation and healing, which are really just different aspects of the same process.

I first started giving healing sessions as a student at an international business school over 22 years ago. I had spontaneously discovered that my intentions could turn me into a sort of lightning rod, bringing through healing energy with the power to facilitate instant physical, emotional or spiritual recovery in those who chose to receive it. Ever since, I have used this energy and clarity to help people grow past their limitations and into the power of their true selves, so they can manifest the success they want and that is their birthright.

What does this have to do with emotions? What I’ve learned from giving thousands of healing and coaching sessions is that whenever I get involved emotionally with my clients’ “pain story,” the healing doesn’t work. Even if it seems to at first, the effects of the healing won’t last. I’ve learned that in order to be a fit vessel for the “higher work” of supporting others in their healing and growth, I needed to be more neutral in my heart. Neutral means that I am not in any sort of reaction, and this allows me to be fully present with what is, so that I can know what is needed in the moment and be in the process of Creation.

In the Spirit Coach Workbook, it says that, “The word reaction spelled differently is the word creation. As human beings, we are either in the process of Creation or Reaction.”

Creativity transform reality

I’ve realized that true compassion resides more in the territory of neutrality than in my little self’s reactionary concept of what love is. When this dawned on me, I started questioning the role of our emotions in our lives. Did trying to be more neutral and live spiritually mean that emotions were now “bad,” and I should strive not to have them? I felt confused for a while, but over time I observed that in order to fill up with a higher, more potent level of God/Universe/Source, I needed to “empty” myself first, and that when I did, I felt better, clearer, more aligned, and more joyful, free and true. It was nothing short of liberating.

In this space I didn’t experience emotion as we usually define it, but rather a very subtle and refined sense of joy. If I had to label it I’d call it enthusiasm, not in the modern sense but rather “c.1600, from Middle French enthousiasme (16c.) and directly from Late Latin enthusiasmus, from Greek enthousiasmos "divine inspiration, enthusiasm (produced by certain kinds of music, etc.)," from enthousiazein "be inspired or possessed by a god, […]" from entheos "divinely inspired, possessed by a god," from en "in" (see en- (2)) + theos "god" (see theo-).” – Online Etymology Dictionary. In other words, in this space I experienced a remarkable lightness and clarity that allowed me to become a better channel for the light of God.

In this expanded state, I feel as if I am vibrating in synch with a divine tuning fork, and I know my path instead of feeling the need to figure it out. When I first touched this space, I knew what was needed and was able to act upon this higher guidance outside the limitations of my rational mind. This allowed me to step into my true service, and it has proved very valuable to my clients and loved ones. Having witnessed this, I’ve committed to being in that state not only in my work, but also in the rest of my life. When I made this commitment, my life became my service, and this brought me much more abundance and ease. Back to the original question: “What about emotions? What about feelings? What about being simply human?”

Without asking you to believe me or agree with me, I invite you to consider this thought: prior to our identity as humans, who we are is Spirit. We are Spirit having a human experience; our human bodies are simply vehicles through which we experience life on Earth, but they are not who we are. These vehicles are miraculous, but they are laden with programs, just like a car’s computer. We are not our bodies, nor our thoughts, nor are we our emotions. Why is it important to realize this? Because it helps to put emotions into their proper context, and move from being “at effect” in our lives to being “at choice.” In other words, it helps us make the shift from being in reaction to being in co-creation. This three dimensional reality is extremely compelling and year after year, from the moment we are born, we forget who we truly are and where we came from.

ChildShush

From a young age, we start to forget that who we are is Spirit having an experience “in the world,” and begin to believe that we are “of the world” – our minds, bodies and emotions. I believe that we start to experience suffering when we begin to identify with these ‘worldly’ aspects.

So what, then, are emotions really? Emotions are like the lights on our car’s dashboard that tell us our fuel or engine oil is running low.

01A DASHBOARD.4

They let us know that we have strayed from our clear and aligned state, and that we need something. Something within us needs our attention and intention so that we can course correct and regain our alignment with our Source. When a warning light goes off on your dashboard, do you “explore the light?” Do you spend time observing it and pondering why it isn’t a different color? No, you understand it as the signal it is to give your car what it needs, and you take the appropriate steps to address the issue (hopefully!) In the same way, when we find ourselves experiencing strong emotions, we must take the necessary steps to address the imbalances within us that are giving rise to them. That’s not to say this will always be easy to do quickly, but just having the intention to return to neutrality will facilitate the process of release and re-alignment.

“But what about all the positive emotions?” you might say. “What about excitement, love, hope? Aren’t these good emotions to have?” In response, I ask you to consider the possibility that it’s all the same. Like I said, emotions are neither good nor bad in and of themselves; they are merely signals that some part of you has left the sweet spot of divine neutrality. You may prefer the blue light on your dashboard to the yellow one, but your preferences are irrelevant to your car’s ability to function. In the same way, while your emotions may indicate where you need to pay attention, in and of themselves they are irrelevant to your path of living in alignment with Source.

Indeed, precisely because the so-called “positive” emotions can feel so good in our bodies, we must be aware of any tendency to become addicted to them and seek them out for their own sakes. This does not mean we do not enjoy experiencing them, but we must do so with awareness. Years ago, a friend of mine got so excited that he fell through a glass window, cutting himself badly and ending up in the ER. He got carried away and ungrounded by this “exhilarating emotion,” and forgot to be present and aware as a result. (Here is a short video on how to ground so you can be more present and aware. You'll need to scroll down to the video called: "Develop your Leadership Potential - Skill#1". I teach this technique to all my executive clients as well as my High Impact Communication Skills students at University of San Francisco: http://loveyourlifeandbusiness.com/index.php/videos)

Love is an emotion that many people feel an understandable attachment to, but it is important to ask ourselves how we define it. Because of the “worldly” programs that I mentioned earlier, for most of us, even our subconscious definition of “unconditional love” is actually still conditional. What we’re talking about here is non-conditional love, which is that subtle joy which is all that remains in a state of neutrality. The same goes for the emotion we call hope. This emotion only arises after we have already left our alignment with Source, in response to the mind’s perception of lack or imperfection. When we experience that alignment, the idea of hope is replaced by a clear knowing that whatever is, is what should be. And, we also understand what our next step is, based on the intuitive guidance of "right action" which can only be known by our Spirit and not by our limited rational mind.

Peach rose

So, are emotions bad after all? Of course not! Emotions are signals, and can serve as helpful guide posts on our path. I invite you to try this right now: Start by grounding yourself. (Unless you already have a grounding practice, use the visualization from my video above: http://loveyourlifeandbusiness.com/index.php/videos. And remember to scroll down to the video named: "Develop your Leadership Potential – Skill#1") Then imagine that way up above your head, somewhere past the moon in the Universe, there is a beautiful bright golden light. This is the light of Source. Somehow, find a way to get a sense of this energy or presence and connect with it. How does that feel? If this feels good to you, then the next time emotions come up, take a moment to ground and connect. It is when we are present (grounded), neutral (not in any form of reaction), and aligned with intention that we can find what Buddhists call “Right Action.” This means the choice that is for the highest and best good not only of ourselves, but of all beings in the Universe, beyond what the little self may think it wants. While the small self may find this idea constricting, it is the key to true freedom.

FUN FACT: In closing, my friend Natalie shared with me this interesting fact. In Nepali, which is the closest modern language to Sanskrit, the separation between emotions (and all other forms) and identity is built into the language, because it was created and spoken by people with a high level of spiritual understanding.  For example, instead of saying "I'm angry," they say "the anger is over here with me" - this de-personalizes emotions and inserts an awareness of impermanence and emptiness into the very structure of the language.  Similarly, one never speaks of nouns in the possessive.  Instead of saying 'my bedroom,' you say 'the room I sleep in,' and instead of saying 'my car,' you might say 'the car I drive.'  Interesting, eh?

Please keep in touch, I’d love to hear about your experiences with these practices!

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Spirit CPR™: The Three Steps to Becoming a Magnet for your True Love

Written by Francois.

If you are single, spiritual, and interested... no... committed to finding your True Love, then there is a clear path that might be just what the doctor ordered: Spirit CPR™! Yes, your Spirit could be in serious need of Spirit CPR™ especially if it has been a while since your True Love heart has beat. 

What is Spirit CPR™? It is a three step formula that can take you from being single and stuck, to feeling connected, alive, and super mega attractive. Simply put: A True Love Magnet!

What are the three steps?

C stands for Clearing 

Clearing all blockages to you being your True beautiful Self and a magnet for your True Love.

P stands for Proactivating

Proactivating your True Self, your gifts, your strengths, your Light.

R stands for Receiving

So you can be in a receptive mode and actually be in the state that will allow for your True Love to show up at your door step!

If this formula appeals and resonnates with you, you can do one of two things:

  • Work one-on-one with a True Love Magnet™ coach (the minimum commitment is three months).
  • Sign up for one of our workshops or retreats.

If you are interested in finding out more about this process, please leave us your email at the bottom of this page:

www.TrueLoveMagnet.com

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What do you do with ANGER?

Written by Francois.

In recent weeks, a surprising number of my coaching clients have brought the same theme to their sessions: “I’m PISSED OFF!” They say things like: “Why am I so bloody angry lately?” and “I get so mad, I say and do things that I later regret. What shall I do?” or “I get so mad at myself for being at the mercy of my anger. I feel I can’t trust myself anymore. What do I do?”

Cmon inner peace I dont have all day

As anyone who has had this kind of experience will know, anger is incredibly powerful. If it is consciously managed and directed, the energy it generates can benefit life. Left unchecked however, anger can kill.

I know this first hand because, believe it or not, I had terrible anger issues when I was younger!

My mother will tell you that I was a very happy baby, almost boringly so. Years later however, it was a different story: I developed a deep dissatisfaction with some dynamics in my life and contracted a serious case of anger-itis. I’d get angry to the point of becoming physically explosive, and would take it out on my poor brother, my classmates, my parents, my monkey doll, …

To say the least, my anger became more problematic the older I got. At dinner, without warning I would suddenly explode: I would flip the table over and send our meal flying, leaving a big mess to clean up and my family in shock. It was sad, because this brash display of power was simply the result of my total inability to handle my intensifying emotions. I just didn’t have the tools or the wisdom to process what I felt in a constructive way. Things changed however one day, when my father was exceptionally inspired in his response to one of my outbursts. Rather than opposing the intense energies that were coming through me, he suggested a healthier way in which I might channel my volatile emotions. He said: “Next time you feel this anger coming on, feel free to get up and hit the door of your room. But for heaven’s sake, leave our dinner table alone!” I accepted this suggestion, and the next time it happened, I got up, glided along the bench, made my way around the table, walked to the door, and punched it so hard it cracked. Over the next few months, the crack spread all the way from the very top to the bottom of the door. Eventually, by the time I arrived at the door, my anger would subside enough that I didn’t even need to punch it, and I would just stand there until the feeling passed. Finally, the day came when I didn’t even need to get up anymore, because the anger knew that an outlet was available and it wouldn’t be opposed or blocked. My dad’s creative solution offered a less harmful pathway for my intense emotions to find expression. This experience helped me to gain more awareness and control over my powerful emotions, and increased my self-esteem and ability to trust myself.

A man who conquers himself

One thing is for sure: stifling our emotions doesn’t work. If emotional energy has nowhere to go, it will create dysfunction at every level from emotional to physical, even resulting in dis-ease.

For example, one of my dear clients gets huge boils on her body, for which she takes a mild antibiotic. She had never linked her emotions to this phenomenon, but had attributed it to a hormonal imbalance. Now though, she has discovered that repressed anger is the root cause of this physical affliction, and is learning tools to channel that energy in ways that actually help her grow and awaken to her innate truth and power.

Last week, when a client came to my office with a large amount of anger toward a certain person, I held up a pillow, looked at her invitingly, and nodded. After punching the pillow for about a minute, she felt somewhat better and was at least “coachable.” We were then able to look at what was really going on, and she discovered that her anger had nothing to do with this other person, and everything to do with herself. She was able to see that the true source of her emotions was her feelings towards herself, and together we found a practical tool that worked for her. When I saw her again this week, she told me that her anger toward the other person had disappeared immediately after our last session.

The tools I teach can’t be put into practice just by reading about them; they must be experienced. But there is one incredibly powerful tool that I will share with you here. It’s simple: the next time you experience anger arising in you, ask yourself, “What do I need?” Then see how you can meet your needs. Maybe there is a request you can make of someone, or maybe you can establish a boundary with someone and say “no”, breaking a pattern of chronic over-giving that drains your energy. Maybe you need fresh air or physical exercise or some other form of self-care such as wrapping you in your favorite fuzzy blanky!

Kitten in blue fuzzy

If you find you don’t know what the need behind your anger is, I encourage you to take time for self-inquiry to excavate your inner terrain.

One thing I’d also like to say here is that your most powerful tool for transformation is your awareness. When you take the time to cultivate awareness of what your needs are, it always pays off.

It was only recently that I realized that the needs underneath my youthful anger had to do with my desire for truth, honest relationships, freedom and love. Before that, I had bought into the idea that I was simply “a rebel.” Now that I know my anger came from legitimate, universal needs, I no longer judge myself for having had these emotions. Instead, I focus my attention on making sure that I get what I need, taking responsibility for my well-being so that I no longer need to blame anyone or anything for my suffering. This is a step on the path from victimhood to empowerment, and this newfound freedom and spiritual power wouldn’t have been possible without the intentional and focused use of my awareness.

Now it’s your turn!

The next time you start getting angry, ask yourself: “What do I need?”

Let me know if you have any questions and keep me posted on your progress!

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More Heart, Less Mind

Written by Francois.

Take a moment to take a big long deep clearing breath and receive a big whoosh of positive intent for your well-being and success.

Great!

No time to read my whole article this month? Here are the two main take aways:

                                       "No worries, your Heart's got your back!"
                                                                and
                                      "What your Heart once chose is never lost!"

We all have different gifts and strengths. In my life, one of my most precious gifts has been my ability to “follow my heart.” My commitment to living my whole life – including my business – from that place of inspiration and integrity has brought me a holistic success that fulfills me on all levels.

Albert Einstein once said: “The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.”

What did he mean by that?

It’s pretty simple: we have more than one mind. We have a rational mind, and another, ‘higher’ mind that has the ability to successfully direct the ship of our life even through its most treacherous passages. That mind shows us the way. The rational mind executes ideas, but it should not be put at the helm of our lives. Our other mind should; let’s call that intuitive mind the Heart.

Even science tells us – this is fascinating to me! – that the human heart’s electro-magnetic field is thousands of times stronger than the field of the brain. 

electromagnetic-field-of-the-heart

While the brain is great at accomplishing tasks, the Heart holds a deeper knowing that we can use to guide us on our life path.

Did you know that the human heart has neurons?

Your Heart can illuminate the highest path for your personal life and your business. It can also take into account the impact of its vision on the next seven generations, as the Native Americans have traditionally thought about the impact of their creations on generations to come. Your Heart will take care of you. There is no need to let your mind waste energy worrying! If you don’t believe me, let the following stories from my life provide some inspiration.

Last week, I was invited to speak at the University of San Francisco. The topic was: "Your Personal Brand and The Path of a Purpose-Driven Entrepreneur."

Speech EDHEC -USF- Francois with Lisa Norton-Medium

The audience was a group of young entrepreneurs and some of the brightest minds in the world today. They had just graduated from an elite school for entrepreneurs in France, and were here on an immersion program. Some of them had already created a couple of companies!

To me, what was cool about this speaking opportunity was that it didn’t result from any mental strategy to expand my work, but from having met “Power Networker” Lisa Norton while following my heart to a vacation in Maui 5 years ago. During that trip I was also invited to teach a workshop on conscious relationships. Had I followed my mind instead of my heart, I wouldn’t have gone on this trip because I had so much business to take care of back home!

Here’s another one. Years ago, I spent months at the computer overflowing with inspiration that compelled me to write an oracle – a tool that would provide spiritual guidance on demand. During this time the words just kept flowing through me with no conscious effort on my part. Christi would ask: “What are you doing? Why are you doing this?” and I’d answer, “I don’t know, I just have to.” However, after the oracle was complete, it sat unused on my computer for years. I often felt sad that this invaluable spiritual guidance system was just sitting on my computer, of no use to anyone. Then one day, one of my life coaching clients said: “Francois… there is this new thing called “apps” for iPhones, and I’m starting a business creating them. Do you have an idea for one?” Right away I remembered my Oracle. “Yes,” I said, “as a matter of fact I do!” I realized then that my Oracle project hadn’t ‘failed’, it was just waiting for Divine timing, because the technology for it hadn’t been available yet! A year later, the My Oracle app was unveiled and to this day, I still bump into people who tell me they use it regularly. I even met a person in Brazil last month who had my app and loves it! So once again, I trusted my heart even though my mind thought I was wasting my time, and years later, My Oracle saw the light of day. It now helps thousands of people and provides me with a passive source of income.

iPhone MyOracleScreenMagazine

If you own an iPhone or iPod/iPad you can find My Oracle here: http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/my-oracle/id322560183?mt=8&;uo=6

Now, if these examples from my life still don’t inspire you to follow your heart, perhaps this most recent one will. This example shows how following my heart in the face of deep doubt from others had a positive impact on my future in ways I could never have imagined. The story begins with my brother, who wrote a novel inspired by my extraordinary experiences living with the headshrinkers in the Amazon for six months in 1996. His book is called: “Kana et Mashu”; Mashu is the name given to me by the Indians. I had graduated from business school eight months earlier, and all my fellow students had found positions in the corporate world, but I felt compelled to,“follow my heart” in a different direction. My desire to travel the world didn’t make sense to many of my friends and family at the time: “Your diploma will lose its value!” some would say, or “How is this travelling going to serve you in the long run?”. I understood their concern, but at the same time I just knew that my Heart was telling a different story that included living in the jungle thousands of miles away from my home in France. Now this all took place many years ago, but just last week, my brother’s book was published in France! He put the link to my website at the end, so those who are interested in learning how to co-create successful lives and businesses can contact me. I had no idea back in the 1990’s that by following my heart against all reasonable advice and embarking on a seven-year journey around the world, I was co-creating amazing possibilities for my future.

Couverture livre Kana et Mashu

If you read French, you may want to check out my brother’s website about the book: http://www.kanaetmashu.com/le-roman. It is also in the process of being translated into English.

Our Heart holds the knowing we need to follow our highest and best path. It has an expanded vision that works outside of time and yields sustainable, holistic results in our lives. It shows us not only the way to be fully alive and ‘on purpose,’ but how to take care of all our needs on a practical level. While the mind excels at dissecting, analyzing, and achieving specific tasks, the Heart unifies, harmonizes and strengthens through courage.

Most of us have forgotten how to listen to our heart, so we experience doubt and confusion when we wish to do so. Our rational minds assure us that they can ‘figure out’ our lives, and not knowing where else to turn, we let them. Even when we do hear, see or know our Heart’s guidance, too often we lack the support we need to move forward and bring our vision to fruition. So we are left dreaming about the day things will change, but they never do. We feel trapped by some invisible force that keeps us stuck and confused. This invisible force is the power of our unconscious mind. Since it is unconscious, we can’t see it to change it, and that is why we can’t do this alone. We need skilled allies that can keep us focused and on track. This is the reason why more and more people, from housewives to executives, have begun to hire life and business coaches in recent years.

Each of us has a great contribution to make, one that doesn’t just make us happy, but that lights up the whole world.

Howard Thurman said: “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

Take a big long deep breath into your heart space right now…

Feel its power…

Sense its intelligence…

What is it telling you?

What is it showing you?

If you would like non-judgmental support and a skilled ally to help you let go of unconscious blocks and move toward your dreams or business goals, I have one spot opening in June. Contact me to schedule a short introductory session to talk about what you want to create and how coaching with me can help.

 

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